Drury Therapy

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Fixing others is not your responsibility

Repeat after me; "it's not my responsibility to fix others."
It's is not your responsibility to fix, rescue or save anyone. 
Often this habit has started from early childhood. We took on the role as rescuer as a duty and it became innate. Ingraining itself into our relationships. Perhaps you witnessed the importance of supporting someone as a young child, perhaps you were needed to look after others, or perhaps you were directly told. ▪When we believe that we need to 'fix' or 'save', we are saying "I don't trust you to do it yourself". We are removing that person's power and taking their ability away. ▪ Taking on this responsibility may mean that we can wear ourselves out, become stressed and ill, even build resentment. ▪Finally you can enable their behaviour, by taking on responsibility of their struggles and pain. Relinquishing their accountability.
▪It's always a good idea to reflect back and try to learn where this desire to rescue came from. When did it start? Were there messages you got as a child? Are there certain people I always do it with? What is the fear of not fixing or rescuing-do I think something may happen?