Marie Claire

Protecting Boundaries

We’re living through something of a therapy-speak moment. Words that once frequented the therapist’s office - boundaries, triggers, attachment styles, capacity - are now part of the everyday vocabulary of friendship. With TikTok and social media offering an endless stream of opinions on how we should communicate, feel and behave, it can sometimes feel as though there’s a therapeutic diagnosis for everything.

Honestly - this is a good thing! Having the language to say this hurts me, I need something different, or this doesn’t feel healthy, is powerful. When I talk to my own mother about boundaries, she often responds with genuine awe: “Wow. I would never have thought to say that.” And she’s right. Previous generations didn’t quite have the same vocabulary for emotional needs as we do.

But what happens when the language designed to help us build healthier relationships starts to make friendship feel like something we need to constantly manage?