Be kind

Following the incredibly sad news yesterday of the passing of Caroline Flack, I've seen my timeline explode with the importance of kindness, as Caroline spoke about herself. I’ve also seen the cruel and callous comments being made irrespective. As a therapist and as a person who is in therapy, I can say in great confidence that we really have no idea what goes on in peoples lives or in their heads. Treating people with kindness and compassion is vital. However, often that is difficult for many and as a result projecting anger, hurt and hatred through a screen. Sometimes this is through developmental, environmental and genetic issues. Not to mention biochemical aspects; GABA, Dopamine (which may give you hits when you act out) and Serotonin (depletion) all have a part to play. Wounds that are open and haven't healed can be a painful life to live: "hurt people, hurt people" - we have a responsibility, not only to others but to ourselves to be accountable for our actions. That doesn't lie just with being aware of our behaviours, but also reaching out for help and support. Unresolved trauma can be incredibly painful to live with, but it's not ok to displace it onto others. One of the most wonderful ways to heal is actually through self-compassion. So if you find yourself struggling with how you behave online or with others, seek out a therapist, talk to friends, journal, heal yourself in the best way you know how. When you create wounds in others you only deepen the ones you have yourself.