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How to Talk to your Partner about sex

Good sex doesn’t just magically happen — it requires effort and lots of open communication. Improving sexual communication is vital for a relationship, and yet talking about sex with your partner can feel daunting.

Whether you want more sex, want to try a new sexual fantasy, or you’re experiencing issues in your sex life, the road to a satisfying relationship is paved with slightly awkward chats. 

There are many reasons to have open and honest conversations about sex with your partner. Research finds that couples who talk about their sex life are more satisfied in bed and have overall higher relationship satisfaction. 

Couples with sexual problems report a lack of sexual communication, according to one study published in the Journal of Sex Research. Meanwhile, sexual communication was positively linked with all domains of sexual function, including desire, arousal, erection, lubrication, orgasm, and even less pain. So yeah, talking about sex is important — especially for women, the study concluded.

Being able to talk about difficult subjects with your partner can foster intimacy and bring couples closer, and having a “sex chat” is no different. 

“Talking about sex is a great way to ensure that communication stays open and clear about the expectations and desires surrounding sexual enjoyment,” says Aoife Dury, a COSRT-accredited psychosexual and relationship therapist.