Challenge the term 'Good in Bed'
Movies, TV shows and magazines perpetuate the myth of what being 'good in bed'* means. This burrows into our psyche and puts an incredible amount of pressure on (particularly young) people.
When I wrote this quote I decided to google; 'good in bed'...... I sat with my head in my hands for a while!So I thought I would try bust some of the myths.
What does being 'good in bed' mean?
1. Feeling comfortable with your body, including your genitals. This, hopefully, allows you to feel more relaxed and free.
2. Understanding what you enjoy. Therefore being able to communicate them to your partner so that you can both benefit.
3. Learn about what your partner enjoys.
4. Sexual give and take! It's not all about one person.
5. Being respectful. Accepting someones dislikes, or likes without being hurtful or shaming.
What does being 'good in bed' NOT mean?
1. Needing a 'perfect' (whatever that means!) body/looks and youth.
2. Knowing every trick and applying them at every opportunity. This reduces sex to a technique.
3. Lots of past sexual experiences. This may help with your own experience, but everyone is different. What worked with one person, may not work with another.
4. High sex drive and/or ability to last. These factors don't give sensitivity or knowledge and are part of myths that have perpetuated for years.
5. Not being respectful. You should probably remove yourself from the bed.
Sexual responses, desires and fantasies are unique and complicated. Assuming someone 'should' know yours, or that you will know theirs probably won't make it very satisfying. Understanding yourself, body, needs and desires alongside your sexual partners. Can ultimately facilitate a satisfying sex life. Being 'good in bed' does not happen like osmosis and takes; consideration, communication and self-understanding. Feel free to add anything I have missed in the comments below!
*I also think we need to get rid of the phrase 'good in bed'! Don't take my using it as an endorsement! Rather an aid to bust myths!