Drury Therapy

Psychosexual and Relationship Therapy

Sexual comparison

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The last few weeks there have been a mammoth number of articles, tweets, posts and conversations around a possibility of a baby boom. But I know that many of you are really struggling with anxiety and the idea of sex/masturbation may be overwhelming. Yes, of course we can enjoy this time and get in touch with our sexual self and with our partner. But it’s important to recognise that this may not be how everyone is feeling. We are in the midst of a pandemic; the fear of the unknown, the uncertainty; can create anxiety and stress. These are two factors that greatly impede on sexual arousal and desire.
Anxious feelings can impede on your sex drive in a number of ways. Those overwhelming feelings we get when anxiety ramps up, empty those sexy thoughts out of our brains, inhibiting from being in the mood. There are also physiological effects of anxiety and worry, escalating the production of stress hormones like adrenaline and cortisol that make you feel on edge. This means the body can't physically unwind and basking in sexual sensations alongside climaxing tends to be a lot more difficult.
It’s ok not to feel desire, it’s ok not to want to have sex. This is a time of crisis, most of us are in a state of fear. @sexualwellness said to me so eloquently other day; "it’s the activation of the world’s nervous system” it is so palpable. Focusing on your communication, connection and intimacy can help ease the anxiety and get you feeling more together. Focus on your mental health, mindfulness, self-care, whatever makes you feel better.
You do you right now. That's all that matters.