Overcoming Libido differences
More often than not our libidos are mismatched with our partner. Differences in sexual desire within couples are very common, in this short article I discuss ways to tackle this issue that can result in so much resentment and anxiety. A great starting point is removing the pressure of physical intimacy and focusing on building emotional connection can be a great starting point. This can alleviate the growing frustration between partners.
Stress can affect us in a variety of different ways including appetite, lack of sleep and of course our libido! When it comes to sex, stress makes your sex life suffer. Developing tools and techniques that can be used to ease the burden will not only help alleviate stress but also improve your libido. In this article I look at ways to avoid stress taking over your desire during the holiday season.
When I see couples, irrespective to what they present with, I work on their communication. Most of us listen to reply, rather than to hear. We want to express our opinions and emotions, to have our voice heard. With sex communication can be tricky, we tend to feel awkward and therefore avoid the topic, or we can end up arguing.
“If what you’re doing makes you feel good, and you’re consenting, then remove all judgement. But if your thoughts or actions come from a place of pain or unhappiness, then critical analysis of your sexual experiences is healthy. This encourages acceptance, open conversation, and diversity.”
Ghosting is defined as ‘ending a relationship by ignoring all communication from the other person.’ From WhatsApp's little blue ticks to Facebook’s time stamp, it is now painfully obvious when you’re being ignored. 74% of people I surveyed for this article stated that they have been ghosted with 23% saying that they have been ghosted more than 3 times. This takes a toll on mental well-being with sadness (60%) and decreasing self-esteem (67%). Coping with the end of a relationship is never an easy process. But when you’re ghosted, it’s more difficult to process.
My article outlines why people ghost, what is the consequence to mental health and how you can support yourself if you've been effected.
What does it even mean to be “normal”?
Who gets to decide?
The problem originates with the word itself. It’s problematic across all human behaviour. We know that of the more than 7 billion people on the planet no two are the same so quite how the term ‘normal’ can apply is beyond me.
Our culturally conditioned understanding of desire is often a projection of male fantasy—a penetrative rush towards climax. But where does this leave female desire?
‘It's important not to confuse this readiness for something more with loneliness or boredom. Getting into relationships for the wrong reason is never a good idea and you'll only end up hurting yourself (and your partner) in the long run.’
Accepting that a relationship you so desperately want just isn't working out may easily be one of the most difficult things ever. You think about all the good times you've spent with this person, all the happiness they've brought you, the immense love you have for each other, and you'd do anything to make it work. But sometimes it just doesn't, and that can be incredibly frustrating and disheartening, especially if you don't know why or how it even got to that un-fixable point.
I wrote a piece for The Vaginismus Network on how Vaginismus is different for everyone.
The Vaginismus Network is a fantastic community for those battling with the condition to come together and connect. It provides a education, insight and guidance so that you don't need to feel alone.
Couples enter into small and large arguments all the time. However, if you find the conflicts you have with your partner never seem to be resolved, the first step is for you to start paying more attention to your own conflict style.
Sexual assault immense level of trauma. Victims endure the immediate physical and mental trauma of the actual event as well as many ongoing psychological challenges. As if these challenges aren't enough, a strong and significant stigma of being raped persists. Victims must deal with added shame, arising from the stigma-laden reactions.
‘Porn’s impact on relationship is dependent on the relationship it’s used in. When a couple have a healthy and happy sex life porn can be a great tool in providing experimentation, connection and variation. However, couples who have issues with trust, self-esteem, trauma or sexual issues, porn should best be avoided.’
A study has revealed that 36% of young men between the ages of 16 and 24 have experienced sexual performance problems in the last year. The figures are higher for men between 25 and 34, with nearly 40% of those surveyed admitting to having issues in bedroom.
There was a time where women were ignored by clinicians or would take for granted that they could not orgasm. Most of this was due to the fact that women, unlike men, do not need to climax in order to conceive. This piece isn’t about multiple orgasms, it’s about the women who struggle to have any. I want to let you know that you are not alone and that there is support. Women are entitled to not only enjoy sex but to climax also.
Prostate cancer is not a cause of erectile dysfunction, treatments for the disease can cause the problem. Among them: Surgery to remove the entire prostate gland. This article outlines challenges and also treatment methods
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Abortion-seeking women* are more likely to have experienced partner violence than the general population. A recent English study found more than 1 in 3 abortion-seeking women* had experienced domestic violence.’
As most of us know, psychoactive substances are believed to be aphrodisiacs, but in reality they have damaging effects on all aspects of sexual function. The interrelationship of alcohol use and sexual activity is well established, but in reality it was not until the 1970's that alcoholism was universally recognised as a cause or contributor to sexual problems such as erectile dysfunction, inhibited sexual desire and anorgasmia.
There is a normal change in men when they age and often this is not something that is readily discussed. Information and messages about sex and ageing are that it is not a priority as we get older. If this is the perceived; it makes it difficult for men (and women) to know what to expect and what is acceptable for them sexually as they age.
