It’s time to talk about sexual incompatibility
Evolutionary psychologists have posited that we might experience sexual clashes with people whose genetic complexes are discordant to our own, because it affects the ability of us and our potential offspring to fight disease.But often, incompatibility comes down to a contrast in sexual tastes and appetites – most notably, a mismatch in libidos. Data from Natsal, the British National Surveys of Sexual Attitudes and Lifestyles (one of the broadest and most detailed scientific studies of its kind worldwide) indicates one in four UK couples are imbalanced in their desire for sex.
Navigating long-distance relationships
Long-distance relationships are a little bit easier to navigate now a days with the blessing of high-speed internet and mobile phones. There is no need to be throwing away money on expensive calls or waiting weeks for a letter. With this in mind-long-distance relationship quality does not have to be significantly different from ones close by.
However, in reality, relationships take work, and with the strain of long-distance, that stress can be amplified. The inability to have date nights, days out or physical touch can be incredibly hard. In this article I have some tips on how you can maintain the spark even from a distance.
Chemsex Comedown: The Rise In People Seeking Therapy For 'Sober Sex’
Aoife Drury says; chemsex is a “perfect storm”, offering an escape for people finding it hard to deal with their sexual identity, with stigma or with homophobia, internalised or otherwise – but then leaving them with no framework or coping mechanism without the drugs. Some people may have been rejected, either by their family or friends when they came out; perhaps they were from a religious background.
Central to the experience of trauma is helplessness, isolation and the feelings of the loss of control. In this first part of a two piece article, I discuss #selfcare in trauma recovery. More often than not, looking after your basic needs is the first thing to go while struggling to overcome and recover from trauma. In the aftermath of a traumatic experience, strategies for self care can massively assist with the recovery process.
Following my last piece that focused on how to involve self-care following a trauma. This article is shining a spotlight on the ways in which you can seek outside support. A way by which you can gradually recover from your experience. In general recovery is the ability to live in the present without being overwhelmed by the thoughts and feelings of the past.
How to navigate a your fetish in a consenting and safe manner.
Overcoming Libido differences
More often than not our libidos are mismatched with our partner. Differences in sexual desire within couples are very common, in this short article I discuss ways to tackle this issue that can result in so much resentment and anxiety. A great starting point is removing the pressure of physical intimacy and focusing on building emotional connection can be a great starting point. This can alleviate the growing frustration between partners.
Navigating Low Libido at Christmas.
Stress can affect us in a variety of different ways including appetite, lack of sleep and of course our libido! When it comes to sex, stress makes your sex life suffer. Developing tools and techniques that can be used to ease the burden will not only help alleviate stress but also improve your libido. In this article I look at ways to avoid stress taking over your desire during the holiday season.
Sex culture and confidence
“If what you’re doing makes you feel good, and you’re consenting, then remove all judgement. But if your thoughts or actions come from a place of pain or unhappiness, then critical analysis of your sexual experiences is healthy. This encourages acceptance, open conversation, and diversity.”
Ghosting and its effect on mental health
Ghosting is defined as ‘ending a relationship by ignoring all communication from the other person.’ From WhatsApp's little blue ticks to Facebook’s time stamp, it is now painfully obvious when you’re being ignored. 74% of people I surveyed for this article stated that they have been ghosted with 23% saying that they have been ghosted more than 3 times. This takes a toll on mental well-being with sadness (60%) and decreasing self-esteem (67%). Coping with the end of a relationship is never an easy process. But when you’re ghosted, it’s more difficult to process.
My article outlines why people ghost, what is the consequence to mental health and how you can support yourself if you've been effected.
What does it even mean to be “normal”?
Who gets to decide?
The problem originates with the word itself. It’s problematic across all human behaviour. We know that of the more than 7 billion people on the planet no two are the same so quite how the term ‘normal’ can apply is beyond me.
The feminization of desire
Our culturally conditioned understanding of desire is often a projection of male fantasy—a penetrative rush towards climax. But where does this leave female desire?
Signs you are ready to be official
‘It's important not to confuse this readiness for something more with loneliness or boredom. Getting into relationships for the wrong reason is never a good idea and you'll only end up hurting yourself (and your partner) in the long run.’
‘Porn’s impact on relationship is dependent on the relationship it’s used in. When a couple have a healthy and happy sex life porn can be a great tool in providing experimentation, connection and variation. However, couples who have issues with trust, self-esteem, trauma or sexual issues, porn should best be avoided.’
There was a time where women were ignored by clinicians or would take for granted that they could not orgasm. Most of this was due to the fact that women, unlike men, do not need to climax in order to conceive. This piece isn’t about multiple orgasms, it’s about the women who struggle to have any. I want to let you know that you are not alone and that there is support. Women are entitled to not only enjoy sex but to climax also.
