Psychosexual and Relationship Therapy
Psychosexual and Relationship Therapy
Porn, despite its links to anxiety reduction and a healthy appreciation of sexual encounters, has taken residence as the seedy underbelly of the technological revolution. It’s even been labeled a public health hazard by politicians in Utah. But does it deserve such a title, asks Kate Demolder
Physical touch is essential for our physical and emotional health. It reduces stress, relieves pain and allows us to communicate feelings that we can’t convey with words alone. Many of us are missing human touch, but the loss is especially pronounced for people who have been advised to cocoon and avoid physical contact with their loved ones.
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Being rejected can be tough, no matter how it happens, but dealing with rejection is one of those tricky things that we all need to learn how to do. Because, let's face it, rejection happens to everyone at one point or another.
So, how can you deal with rejection, why does it hurt so much, and what can you do to make it easier?
Caroline West spoke in The Sunday Business Post on the Vaginal Rejuvenation Industry and how it profits off the unrelenting standards of body image.
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Sex Therapist Aoife Drury states; ‘it’s important to remember that vulvas come in all shapes, sizes and colours and that each vulva is unique and individualised to its owner. Vulvas are not exempt from body shaming; these companies sustain messages of unachievable beauty standards by attempting to shroud messages of shame and inadequacy with beauty and wellness. Companies selling products that attempt to alter and or change the look of vulvas are only continuing to feed into the shame surrounding the appearance of female genitalia. These products are focused on creating and maintaining a level of insecurity for women whilst simultaneously profiting off them’. ⠀
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Caroline says: ‘Body positivity or body neutrality is one aspect of health but if it doesn't include education about the diversity of shape and colour in genitalia, the movement isn't complete. The market for sexual wellness is rapidly growing, projected to be worth $37 billion by 2022. It is crucial that caution must be taken to ensure this market is regulated, with product ingredients strictly regulated, and this industry should go hand in hand in with comprehensive sex education.'
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Genital matchmaking is the latest trend to hit the 'sexual wellness' shelves and, yes, it's about as bizarre (and unnecessary) as it sounds. It refers to the process of modifying yours and your partner's genitals in order to create the 'perfect fit' when it comes to sex. But does genital matchmaking actually work? And why is the idea behind it so problematic?
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From masturbating to an ex’s Twitch livestream to revenge sexting, people who cheated during quarantine discuss their motives, guilt (or lack of), and whether the digital will become physical
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The disparity between genders has been a constant throughout history and recently the spotlight has been shone on pay. The European Institute for Gender Equality (EIGE) each year publishes a Gender Equality Index and in 2019 it revealed that a women's mean monthly earnings are €2,808 in Ireland, compared to €3,423 for men.
The frustration that most of us feel can be exasperating. Unfortunately, there is another area where the discrepancy still lies, and that is in pleasure.
While breaking up with a partner might feel more difficult right now, remember that your wellbeing must come first - but that doesn't mean you need to be harsh on your ex. So if you're worrying, don't - we've got you. Here's our top advice on navigating a lockdown breakup that's kind on both sides.
This is one of those things that a lot of women don’t discuss due to shame and stigma, so the true extent is often unknown. Talking about a sexual problem can be very difficult for a lot of people, but it’s also the first step on the path to fixing it.
In 2020, technology and intimacy are interwoven in our lives. Some may view this as a negative,
but Aoife sees positives in this inter-connectivity: ‘Technology has a bad rap for hindering
intimacy, from turning towards your phone, rather than towards your partner. However, this is
primarily when it is misused or overused rather than it being the technology itself. Technology is
a part of us now, whether we like it or not and we have got to learn how to use it to our
advantage’. One area of sextech that is growing rapidly is online sex therapy. Sex and relationship therapist
Aoife Drury (drurytherapy.com) feels that online platforms such as social media can be a
positive tool for education: ‘I try to utilise social media to tackle taboos and misinformation. It is
absolutely vital that these conversations are normalised in mainstream media so people don’t
feel alone and encourage them to reach out for support if needed’. She outlines that this is
particularly important in the area of domestic abuse and stigmatised issues such as sexual
dysfunction.
Article by Caroline West: (Please email me to read the article)
Our libido fluctuates over the course of our lives, depending on hormones, social stressors, relationships and psychological factors. Peaks and troughs in desire are so normal but right now, due to COVID19, that dip may feel amplified.
Sexual frustration is something that most people have probably felt at one time or another. But as many of us are currently in lockdown away from partners or just unable to meet up with Bumble matches, we're feeling more frustrated than ever. We spoke to some experts to explain what sexual frustration actually is and the ways you can deal with it.
The last few months have been chaotic, overwhelming and worrying. It’s utterly understandable to be stressed, especially if you are someone who may already be predisposed to feelings of anxiety, fall into the vulnerable category or are worried about your work.
It's perfectly normal to feel nervous during this unprecedented time. Feeling overwhelmed can be debilitating. Please know you are not alone. This is hopefully a simple guide to just gain an understanding as to what might be happening for you and how you can manage it.
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Whether that is a couple who are both working from home, a whole family with children who need to be entertained or housemates who are finding communal living difficult, it is not yet known how long these measures may last. While it is not yet known, divorce lawyers have already forecast spike in splits later this year due to self-isolation. So how can you ensure tensions do not arise and if they do, are quickly dispelled?
As with any sexual activity, talking about what you want to do and what you want to get out of it with your partner beforehand is always a good idea. Romantic sex is something we mostly have an idea of from movies, where it's all candles and sensual music, using sex to bond and connect with each other is a wonderful way to feel intimate.
The modern-day usage of the word "cuckolding" as a fetish differs from its origins, as the cuckold is aware of and is consenting to their partner sleeping with another person. Learn more about this fetish in this article and understand how consent and communication are paramount.
Sexual wellness is a part of our health as a whole. Learning about our bodies and understanding what we enjoy is pivotal to the relationships with ourself. There are many techniques that you can learn to get in touch with your sexual health, including mindfulness apps like Budify and Ferly. In this article I mention a specific technique that I use called Sensate Focus which is all about gaining mindfulness through body scans and building awareness of thoughts before it gradually moves to mindful masturbation. It's a great way to learn about yourself and your sexuality. This article talks more about these tips and tricks. You can pick it up in most UK magazine racks and it is available for 4 months.
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A huge variety of ordeals can spark a damaged relationship with intimacy, including sexual assault, rape, invasive surgery, childbirth complications, gynaecological cancers and more. Complications during childbirth, invasive surgery or the aftermath of gynaecological cancers are common reasons for difficulties with sexual responsiveness. Cancer of the cervix or vulva can affect nerve endings and blood supply, causing pain. Trauma following an accident or illness can affect the biological foundations of a person’s sexual-response system. Alongside this, changes to the appearance of the vulva can result in self-consciousness and low self-esteem. All of these experiences, plus many more, can be distressing for women and result in sexual trauma.
This article discusses ways to recover and look after yourself following a trauma.
My Viv are new products dedicated to sexual wellness with health and equality at its core. This article covers how these products can support a happy, healthy sex life with your partner. It discusses the importance of taking it slow when trying to recover after infidelity. Particularly with open and honest communication. It also explains how scheduling sex does not have to be unsexy and can be a great way for people to rekindle desire.
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Getting to know someone at the start of a relationship can often feel like a test of boundaries: how much information do you divulge and how soon? When do you tell them you still sleep with your childhood toy, that you really don’t like the taste of sushi and that your favourite album is still Avril Lavigne’s ‘Let Go’. And what about those things that are far more personal, those formative experiences that have not only made you the person you are, but also inform the way you meet new people, handle relationships and build intimacy.