With the recent release of Laura Dodsworth’s book, ‘Womanhood; the bare reality’. I thought it would be a good time to talk about Labiaplasty; what it is and why it’s on the rise. Labiaplasty is the most common form of female genital cosmetic surgery and involves surgical reduction of the Labia minora (the inner lips of the vulva). You may also know it by a few different names: “vulva reshaping”, “vulva and vaginal rejuvenation”, “designer vagina” and “the barbie doll”…yes “the barbie doll!”
Labia minora surgery was first documented in 1976, but it was not until the 2000s that the surgery gained popularity. In the UK the demand for labiaplasty has increased more than three-fold from 2000 to 2014.
What is Female Orgasmic Disorder (FOD)?
Tv, movies, porn, magazine articles, tend give the message that orgasms are the pinnacle of sexual excitement, and that unless you climax you’re not having great sex. Well I call bullshit! Orgasms are unique and individual: One person may climax from the touch of their nipples, another might need a lot of time and clitoral play and one person may struggle to orgasm at all. In this piece I want to focus on those who struggle with orgasms. This is called Female Orgasmic Disorder (FOD) and research shows that 43% of women report some degree of difficulty reaching orgasm. This can often lead to feelings of isolation, frustration and distress.
Debunking masturbation taboos
“The process of understanding how you can bring your body pleasure is an incredibly empowering experience.” I spoke to @galpaluk who are on a mission to bust myths and tackle taboos around how masturbation helps you to get to know your body...and how toys can assist you in doing just that!
Chemsex Comedown: The Rise In People Seeking Therapy For 'Sober Sex’
Aoife Drury says; chemsex is a “perfect storm”, offering an escape for people finding it hard to deal with their sexual identity, with stigma or with homophobia, internalised or otherwise – but then leaving them with no framework or coping mechanism without the drugs. Some people may have been rejected, either by their family or friends when they came out; perhaps they were from a religious background.
Sexual fantasies are a normal, integral part of the daily lives. Fantasies can greatly range from sex with an intimate partner, group sex, loving sex and violent sex. Sexual fantasies are defined as, “any erotic or sexually arousing mental imagery that a person has while awake. It can be an elaborate story, or it can be a fleeting thought of some sexual activity” (Hicks and Leitenberg, 2001) So it really is quite broad, fantasies are whatever your mind can conjure up!
Central to the experience of trauma is helplessness, isolation and the feelings of the loss of control. In this first part of a two piece article, I discuss #selfcare in trauma recovery. More often than not, looking after your basic needs is the first thing to go while struggling to overcome and recover from trauma. In the aftermath of a traumatic experience, strategies for self care can massively assist with the recovery process.
Following my last piece that focused on how to involve self-care following a trauma. This article is shining a spotlight on the ways in which you can seek outside support. A way by which you can gradually recover from your experience. In general recovery is the ability to live in the present without being overwhelmed by the thoughts and feelings of the past.
More than one way to be turned on.
When it comes to female sexuality it’s all about desire and arousal. The issue for many women is the misunderstanding between desire and arousal. Being aroused is one thing, but knowing what triggers or maintains your arousal is another. What is important to note is that arousal and desire are not one in the same.…
How to navigate a your fetish in a consenting and safe manner.
Overcoming Libido differences
More often than not our libidos are mismatched with our partner. Differences in sexual desire within couples are very common, in this short article I discuss ways to tackle this issue that can result in so much resentment and anxiety. A great starting point is removing the pressure of physical intimacy and focusing on building emotional connection can be a great starting point. This can alleviate the growing frustration between partners.
Navigating Low Libido at Christmas.
Stress can affect us in a variety of different ways including appetite, lack of sleep and of course our libido! When it comes to sex, stress makes your sex life suffer. Developing tools and techniques that can be used to ease the burden will not only help alleviate stress but also improve your libido. In this article I look at ways to avoid stress taking over your desire during the holiday season.
Sexual desires and communication
When I see couples, irrespective to what they present with, I work on their communication. Most of us listen to reply, rather than to hear. We want to express our opinions and emotions, to have our voice heard. With sex communication can be tricky, we tend to feel awkward and therefore avoid the topic, or we can end up arguing.
Sex culture and confidence
“If what you’re doing makes you feel good, and you’re consenting, then remove all judgement. But if your thoughts or actions come from a place of pain or unhappiness, then critical analysis of your sexual experiences is healthy. This encourages acceptance, open conversation, and diversity.”
Ghosting and its effect on mental health
Ghosting is defined as ‘ending a relationship by ignoring all communication from the other person.’ From WhatsApp's little blue ticks to Facebook’s time stamp, it is now painfully obvious when you’re being ignored. 74% of people I surveyed for this article stated that they have been ghosted with 23% saying that they have been ghosted more than 3 times. This takes a toll on mental well-being with sadness (60%) and decreasing self-esteem (67%). Coping with the end of a relationship is never an easy process. But when you’re ghosted, it’s more difficult to process.
My article outlines why people ghost, what is the consequence to mental health and how you can support yourself if you've been effected.
What does it even mean to be “normal”?
Who gets to decide?
The problem originates with the word itself. It’s problematic across all human behaviour. We know that of the more than 7 billion people on the planet no two are the same so quite how the term ‘normal’ can apply is beyond me.
The feminization of desire
Our culturally conditioned understanding of desire is often a projection of male fantasy—a penetrative rush towards climax. But where does this leave female desire?
Signs you are ready to be official
‘It's important not to confuse this readiness for something more with loneliness or boredom. Getting into relationships for the wrong reason is never a good idea and you'll only end up hurting yourself (and your partner) in the long run.’
6 Signs your relationship can’t be fixed
Accepting that a relationship you so desperately want just isn't working out may easily be one of the most difficult things ever. You think about all the good times you've spent with this person, all the happiness they've brought you, the immense love you have for each other, and you'd do anything to make it work. But sometimes it just doesn't, and that can be incredibly frustrating and disheartening, especially if you don't know why or how it even got to that un-fixable point.
Vaginismus; One size does not fit all
I wrote a piece for The Vaginismus Network on how Vaginismus is different for everyone.
The Vaginismus Network is a fantastic community for those battling with the condition to come together and connect. It provides a education, insight and guidance so that you don't need to feel alone.
Couples in conflict; what’s your style?
Couples enter into small and large arguments all the time. However, if you find the conflicts you have with your partner never seem to be resolved, the first step is for you to start paying more attention to your own conflict style.
Sexual assault immense level of trauma. Victims endure the immediate physical and mental trauma of the actual event as well as many ongoing psychological challenges. As if these challenges aren't enough, a strong and significant stigma of being raped persists. Victims must deal with added shame, arising from the stigma-laden reactions.
