Between Us Clinic

Mindfulness Meditation for Erectile Dysfunction

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Meditation is a spiritual technique that is originally drawn from ancient Buddhist traditions. In recent decades leading psychologists have studied this technique and found out that it is incredibly powerful when used as a therapeutic tool.

Meditation is helpful in developing a human quality called “mindfulness”. Developing higher levels of mindfulness is helpful in treating psychological erectile dysfunction, sexual performance anxiety and low libido as well as with stress reduction and has many other health benefits.

Nurture Your Vagina Podcast

Critical Thinking in Chemsex

I was so delighted to speak to @nurtureyourvagina about my Doctorate research topic, a topic very close to my heart; Chemsex. My research is in the area of intimacy and connection with regard to chemsex.

I'm a strong believer that to discuss chemsex we can't just isolate it to the pain and harm, but to the pleasure that these drugs and environment facilitate too. We need to look at chemsex through a multifaceted lens in order to provide wraparound, holistic, person-centred support. Far too often the narrative is of risk, harm, pathologisation, and vilification. What that does is only further marginalise an already marginalised group.

If we talk about harm reduction, we must also discuss pleasure pursuit. I am so grateful that Candice created a space to explore and understand all of these complex components to help bring the humanity of this experience to the forefront.

Irish Examiner

Sex Education: How Irish women are focusing on their own pleasure in the bedroom

The terms ‘pleasure’ and ‘pandemic’ don’t naturally go together.

But while a deadly virus was beginning to spread across the world this time two years ago - a new and particularly virulent strain of an erotic awakening also took hold.

In the past two years, we’ve collectively binge-watched Normal People, Sex Education and Bridgerton — shows that put female pleasure front and centre. On TikTok and Instagram, a whole new breed of influencers are recommending sex toys and talking openly about issues like vaginismus (a painful condition that can prevent women from having penetrative sex), while former Love Island stars Faye Winter and Teddy Soares fronted sexual wellness and lingerie brand’ Lovehoney’s latest campaign. When shopping online, you’re as likely to come across a vibrator on sites like Asos and LookFantastic as you are a coat.

Womens Health Magazine

Polysexual: What Does It Mean and Is It the Same as Pansexual?

The LGBTQ+ spectrum encompasses a range of sexualities and identities. Some that are commonly known and understood like gay or bisexual, alongside others that a smaller number of people identify with, but are nonetheless important terms that fall under the queer umbrella.

Polysexuality – sometimes represented by a pink, green and blue flag – is one such orientation.

Image Magazine

Are you having the ‘right’ amount of sex?

Research shows there is a ‘sex recession’ right now, but what does that mean when society has us believe there’s a certain amount of sex we should be having? And what is the right ‘amount’ of sex to be having?

n a piece for the Atlantic in 2019, writer Kate Julian introduced a Western audience to the idea of a sex recession. It contradicted a number of things we’ve come to know; taboos have been lifted, but people aren’t talking about sex, hook up culture is rampant, but people aren’t engaging. Julian’s essay drew from a selection of recent academic papers, with two articles by psychologist Jean Twenge especially relevant. Twenge and her colleagues showed...

Cosmopolitan Magazine

Tips to Help you Navigate your Sex Life

Whether you're looking to take your sex life up a notch or want to impress a new partner, it can be really helpful to check out sex tips and advice. And, thankfully, you're in the right place! Over the years, we've prided ourselves on providing the best sex tips and sexy toolkits to help our readers live their sex lives to the fullest.

Sharing a personal fantasy with your partner can be a great way to be more open and vulnerable with each other, says Aoife. "Vulnerability deepens the connection between you", she says, and can lead to some amazing romantic sex.

Irish Independent

‘Single people are exhausted’ - The experts give their advice on love and dating in 2022

As we emerge from lockdown, it’s clear the love landscape has shifted for everyone, from singletons searching for ‘the one’ to couples trying to reignite their passion. We asked a matchmaker, relationship coach and sex therapist how to find — and keep — love in 2022

The Evening Standard

Here is what I learned after not having sex for a year

Focusing on, and fantasising about, our ‘erotic values’ has become more significant today, according to psychosexual therapist, Aoife Drury. It can ‘connect you to a sense of self and awareness of what cultivates desire for you. Learning and being able to communicate that with a future partner is extremely helpful, too. Remember, these are the chapters of your book.

The Irish Independent

Modern Morals: My girlfriend is depressed and dependent on me

Question: My girlfriend and I met a few months before the pandemic and we moved in together during the first lockdown.

The first few months were great, but then her mood changed quite drastically. She started spending a lot of time in bed — sleeping in in the morning and then going for long naps in the afternoon — and she has no motivation to do any of the stuff we used to enjoy.

Comments by Aoife;

It’s important to create an environment that is non-judgemental and allows her to express her needs. Often we listen to respond rather than to actually hear and sit with what the person is feeling. We may want to fix or make the pain go away, but this can result in negating their experience.

As much as we might love someone, we need to also look after ourselves, as the saying goes; you can't pour from an empty jug. It's important to remember that your feelings are vital too, and it's understandable that frustration, anger and sadness may be experienced. It's really tough to see a loved one overwhelmed with the darkness depression brings, and difficult to feel so helpless.

I would encourage him to also look after himself; making sure he is surrounding himself with support, spending time with friends and also engaging with a hobby. His life and needs are important too. Alongside this, if needed a trusted therapist could help.

If you do plan on ending the relationship I would be suggesting that he ensures that she has support from others, if cooking and self-care are difficult, then perhaps she might need an extra hand. Ensuring that she is supported if it ends.

Giddy

There Is No such Thing as Being too Wet

For women and vulva-having people one of the most common and relatable hangups is wetness. Thanks to stigma, shame, and a complete lack of honest discourse about how vaginas work.

In the article we discuss what “being too wet means”, why it happens, and how to overcome the shame correlated to it.

Irish Independent

10 Sex Resolutions for the New Year

Sex therapist Aoife Drury of drurytherapy.com explains what sex therapy is: “It is a form of talking therapy that tends to occur weekly, and it normally consists of exercises to do at home and to discuss with your therapist.

“You don’t have to be in a relationship in order to engage, nor do you need to be thinking about finding a partner. It’s a specialist, integrative way of working, with attention paid to all of the contributors — psychological, biological, pharmacological, relational and contextual — to sexual problems. We tend to reflect on your childhood experience with an emphasis on sexual development and experiences. This helps us better understand influences that may have impacted you over the years.”

Glow West Podcast

Sexual Pleasure

Glow West was finally live in front of a lovely audience, and I had the perfect guest joining me to pop this cherry. Aoife Drury, sex therapist and PhD candidate joined me to explore what sexual pleasure is, how we can achieve it, and what really goes on in a sex therapy session.

The Irish Examiner

The Pleasure Principle

The wonderful @drcarolinewest wrote a piece for @irish_examiner on Authentic Sex, a topic rarely (if never!) discussed in sex education. Caroline always writes in such an honest and insightful way that I feel most of us can relate to. This article is no different.
I was very grateful to be asked to comment alongside the knowledgeable and experienced @sexsiopa who runs an incredible online sex shop; www.sexsiopa.ie

World Association of Sexual Health 25th Annual Congress

Chemsex and the Barriers to Support

I feel very privileged, honoured (and surprised!) that I have been asked to carry out a presentation on Chemsex for @was2021congress

Two weeks ago, I and two incredibly knowledgeable colleagues spoke on Breaking Barriers within the sexual health field for @wasworldsexualhealth and @sexualhealthassociation . I spoke about 'Chemsex and the Barriers to Care'. In my presentation for the Congress I go into more detail, discussing;

•How the research has routinely come from a place of epidemiology rather than phenomonology (in other words from a public health angle rather than the voices of lived experience).

•How this is important in the impact of the biases and perceptions that society and health professionals hold.

•I speak about the importance and cultivating space to speak about the pleasures alongside the pain in order to be able to support people in a more holistic, balanced manner.

•I also discuss the possible avenues that need to be explored in relation to therapy. I believe Therapy must be person-centred and incorporate the subjective experience, and by doing that see how therapies such as EFT, EMDR, Existential Psychosexualtherapy (thank you to @meg_john_barker for their inspirational writing) could be drawn upon.

•Finally, it looks at the various ways by which we can shift these narratives, both on an organisational level but on a personal one too. Ultimately, allowing us to be better informed and equipped clinicians for our clients.

If you are a clinician in sexual health I would implore you to join us at the Congress. There are just a wide range of topics that are really pushing boundaries and exploring avenues that have been much negated.

Permission for Pleasure

Sexual Scripts

I was absolutely honoured to be on @cindyscharkey Permission for Pleasure podcast talking about Sexual Scripts, one of my favourite topics!
Sexual scripts are sexual constructs they are all about the learned messages we have received from society, on how we think we "should" behave or what role we "should" play in our sexual encounters, desires, relationships, and sexual selves. These can be both explicitly learned through messages, or passively through the unconscious. Either way they are super difficult to negate or even be aware of!
I talk about about philosophy and sociology and how that creates the structure by which sexual scripts started through.
Cindy and I talk through some examples of sexual scripts and how many of them are unhelpful, and perhaps even harmful.
We talk about how we can overcome these scripts by learning that you have power to deconstruct the narratives given to us.

World Association of Sexual Health

Breaking Boundaries

I'm very excited to be carrying out a presentation on Chemsex for @sexualhealthassociation and @wasworldsexualhealth it is such an honour to be surrounded by incredibly experienced clinicians and to sit on a panel with them, is a privilege. We talk about topics that deserve more space to be unpacked, researched, and understood in the sexual health sphere.

2 w

Paper Tuesdays Podcast

Talking Psychosexual Therapy

I feel very lucky to have been a guest on the podcast with @papertuesdays
When they asked if I would come on I jumped at the chance. These guys open up conversations that are very needed in this country while simultaneously making it a light and enjoyable listen.
I really enjoyed the depth of conversation, compassion that they held and the reflections that they had. I'm not sure how many times I said "oh great question!"
We chatted about everything from erectile dysfunction, sex education in Ireland, Schema Therapy, Attachment Theory, intrusive thoughts, Sensate Focus, vulnerability, psychiatry and sexual health. We even discussed touched on my favourite topic epistemology!

I came out of my office beaming!
I had such great fun whilst equally being able to have a conversation about difficult subjects.

Long may these normalising conversations continue.

Well Fed Photography

Sexual Wellness

In this episode we speak about what parents can do to reduce shame when it comes to sex and instead encourage body and sex positivity, this week’s episode was made especially for adults.
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Topics covered in this episode include erectile dysfunction, masturbation, the difference between addiction and compulsive behaviours, what to do when couples have differing levels of sexual desire, and the importance of partners carving out time to be intimate with one another.

RTÉ

How can couples stay on track throughout the pandemic?

The past year has seen people across Ireland facing intense challenges with mental health due to the trauma of extended lockdowns. This has played out in so many areas of our lives, but especially so in our romantic relationships.

Whether you found yourself locked down with a partner, separated from them, or if you're a single person, the pandemic has shown us just how invaluable things like touch, communication, and intimacy are and how much we often take those things for granted.

This Is Pop Baby

Party Scene Panel

I am really grateful to be sitting on a panel with some wonderful people tonight after the screening of the show; Party Scene (Reflections on a Chemsex Crisis)
Delving into the underbelly of queer culture, THISISPOPBABY present a filmed work-in-progress showing of a new dance/theatre piece about desire, intimacy, isolation and addiction.
Party Scene is a collaboration between choreographer Philip Connaughton and writer/director Phillip McMahon that celebrates the sweaty high of the session but asks tough questions about drugs, sex, consent and mental health in the queer community. Looking at Chemsex through an amoral lens, the show looks to create conversation around identity, self-worth, isolation, homophobia and family. It asks when does an underground scene become a community crisis, and when is it time for the party to end?