Clients often ask me how long therapy should be for them. I always tell them I can't answer that. The therapeutic path is not a simple one and is often painful and challenging. Yet it is incredibly rewarding when everything starts to fall into place. When I meet with people for the first time, I usually ask them what they are hoping to get out of therapy and how they feel their lives would be different. Then, as time progresses, I check in with them to see how they feel the work is going and to what extent they feel their goals are being met. Gradually and patiently the answer will come to the surface; that in fact time isn't important, it's the context of that therapeutic duration.
Consent is described as: permission for something to happen or agreement to do something.Consent is a vital part of creating a culture and community in which everyone feels safe and comfortable to live in.
Silence does not permit consent. It is clearly communicated, not negotiated.
An unconscious or intoxicated person under the influence of drugs or alcohol who is unable to knowingly consent cannot legally agree to sexual activity.
Past consent does not guarantee future consent.
A person has every right to change their mind at any point in time, because consent is ongoing.
Finally, even if you're in a long term marriage, consent is still vital.
My lovely, talented friend @yattire has started up sound bath classes. I have been blessed enough to experience it!
Sound Baths are incredibly relaxing and beneficial to mental health. Researchers have found that sound waves can reduce blood pressure as well as enhance sleep and memory. Binaural beats, tones played simultaneously that are close in pitch but not identical, can be found in a sound bath session. Studies show these sounds can reduce anxiety and enhance mood states. Sound has been found to be a useful “brain exerciser”, helping to improve cognitive functioning and help with mental and emotional health.
I would really recommend having a go if you want a change to mindfulness and experience an escapism that can help heal you at the same time.
This was one of the first things I learnt about therapy, from my own personal therapist.
When something feels uncomfortable to explore, you should focus on it. Talking about painful material in therapy is beneficial because this brings the material into the present where it can be looked at and understood. This is the time to feel uncomfortable so that your therapist can perform the psychological surgery that needs to happen for you to feel better later. Draining an infection is never pleasant, but it is necessary.
Avoiding a negative emotion buys you short term gain at the price of long term pain.
The losses of two well know figures; Anthony Bourdain & Kate Spade this week is a stark reminder that mental illness does not discriminate. There is a preconceived notion that it only strikes on those suffering. It doesn't. Nobody is safe. Maybe today you can start a conversation on mental health, check in on someone, or seek help you have always needed.
We must continue to de-stigmatize mental illness. It’s OK to seek help. In fact it’s incredibly wise and brave. I urge you today to pay attention to what people are telling you, not just with their words. Use this time to be empathetic, sensitive and compassionate. Check on your “strong” friends. If you are struggling with how to talk to people, I have done a piece below on how to listen. That is the starting point. Listening, REALLY listening. Mental illness kills, just like physical illnesses and needs to be treated with the same seriousness.
Look after one another. Love. Be kind. Be gentle.
To you struggling, I see you. I hear you. Please reach out. You’re winning the battle with every breath and moment you choose life. There is support and help out there.
You are not alone.
