While breaking up with a partner might feel more difficult right now, remember that your wellbeing must come first - but that doesn't mean you need to be harsh on your ex. So if you're worrying, don't - we've got you. Here's our top advice on navigating a lockdown breakup that's kind on both sides.
This is one of those things that a lot of women don’t discuss due to shame and stigma, so the true extent is often unknown. Talking about a sexual problem can be very difficult for a lot of people, but it’s also the first step on the path to fixing it.
In 2020, technology and intimacy are interwoven in our lives. Some may view this as a negative,
but Aoife sees positives in this inter-connectivity: ‘Technology has a bad rap for hindering
intimacy, from turning towards your phone, rather than towards your partner. However, this is
primarily when it is misused or overused rather than it being the technology itself. Technology is
a part of us now, whether we like it or not and we have got to learn how to use it to our
advantage’. One area of sextech that is growing rapidly is online sex therapy. Sex and relationship therapist
Aoife Drury (drurytherapy.com) feels that online platforms such as social media can be a
positive tool for education: ‘I try to utilise social media to tackle taboos and misinformation. It is
absolutely vital that these conversations are normalised in mainstream media so people don’t
feel alone and encourage them to reach out for support if needed’. She outlines that this is
particularly important in the area of domestic abuse and stigmatised issues such as sexual
dysfunction.
Article by Caroline West: (Please email me to read the article)
Our libido fluctuates over the course of our lives, depending on hormones, social stressors, relationships and psychological factors. Peaks and troughs in desire are so normal but right now, due to COVID19, that dip may feel amplified.
Sexual frustration is something that most people have probably felt at one time or another. But as many of us are currently in lockdown away from partners or just unable to meet up with Bumble matches, we're feeling more frustrated than ever. We spoke to some experts to explain what sexual frustration actually is and the ways you can deal with it.
The last few months have been chaotic, overwhelming and worrying. It’s utterly understandable to be stressed, especially if you are someone who may already be predisposed to feelings of anxiety, fall into the vulnerable category or are worried about your work.
It's perfectly normal to feel nervous during this unprecedented time. Feeling overwhelmed can be debilitating. Please know you are not alone. This is hopefully a simple guide to just gain an understanding as to what might be happening for you and how you can manage it.
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Whether that is a couple who are both working from home, a whole family with children who need to be entertained or housemates who are finding communal living difficult, it is not yet known how long these measures may last. While it is not yet known, divorce lawyers have already forecast spike in splits later this year due to self-isolation. So how can you ensure tensions do not arise and if they do, are quickly dispelled?
As with any sexual activity, talking about what you want to do and what you want to get out of it with your partner beforehand is always a good idea. Romantic sex is something we mostly have an idea of from movies, where it's all candles and sensual music, using sex to bond and connect with each other is a wonderful way to feel intimate.
The modern-day usage of the word "cuckolding" as a fetish differs from its origins, as the cuckold is aware of and is consenting to their partner sleeping with another person. Learn more about this fetish in this article and understand how consent and communication are paramount.
Sexual wellness is a part of our health as a whole. Learning about our bodies and understanding what we enjoy is pivotal to the relationships with ourself. There are many techniques that you can learn to get in touch with your sexual health, including mindfulness apps like Budify and Ferly. In this article I mention a specific technique that I use called Sensate Focus which is all about gaining mindfulness through body scans and building awareness of thoughts before it gradually moves to mindful masturbation. It's a great way to learn about yourself and your sexuality. This article talks more about these tips and tricks. You can pick it up in most UK magazine racks and it is available for 4 months.
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A huge variety of ordeals can spark a damaged relationship with intimacy, including sexual assault, rape, invasive surgery, childbirth complications, gynaecological cancers and more. Complications during childbirth, invasive surgery or the aftermath of gynaecological cancers are common reasons for difficulties with sexual responsiveness. Cancer of the cervix or vulva can affect nerve endings and blood supply, causing pain. Trauma following an accident or illness can affect the biological foundations of a person’s sexual-response system. Alongside this, changes to the appearance of the vulva can result in self-consciousness and low self-esteem. All of these experiences, plus many more, can be distressing for women and result in sexual trauma.
This article discusses ways to recover and look after yourself following a trauma.
My Viv are new products dedicated to sexual wellness with health and equality at its core. This article covers how these products can support a happy, healthy sex life with your partner. It discusses the importance of taking it slow when trying to recover after infidelity. Particularly with open and honest communication. It also explains how scheduling sex does not have to be unsexy and can be a great way for people to rekindle desire.
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Getting to know someone at the start of a relationship can often feel like a test of boundaries: how much information do you divulge and how soon? When do you tell them you still sleep with your childhood toy, that you really don’t like the taste of sushi and that your favourite album is still Avril Lavigne’s ‘Let Go’. And what about those things that are far more personal, those formative experiences that have not only made you the person you are, but also inform the way you meet new people, handle relationships and build intimacy.
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It's no secret that being in a long distance relationship can be Hard. Work. Being apart for long periods of time can easily break a relationship, but it's not impossible for a healthy relationship to thrive when you're living miles away from your partner.
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I've been lucky enough to work with @weareferly for a piece on attachment styles. It is a guided practice all around exploring your attachment styles within relationships. This practice is all about understanding the ways in which you interact and relate to others. It helps you unpick what your attachment style is and in turn you’ll be able to better manage and form healthier, happier and more pleasurable relationships.
Download the app to have a listen and be part of a wonderful community.
It’s totally okay to not want sex, even with a long-term partner, but this doesn’t mean you can’t maintain intimacy. While we all need physical touch, since this stimulates the release of healing hormone oxytocin, we don't all need sex—yet if you stop having sex, all the other kinds of touching might stop, too. So how can you reconnect with your partner when you’re not in the mood?
What happens when you really, really want sex but you just can't get wet? No matter what you or your partner does, your vagina remains dry as a bone. It may be awkward, embarrassing and worrying, but it's also perfectly normal to experience a dry spell at some point in your life. Vaginal dryness has all kinds of physiological and psychological causes, as female hormones fluctuate frequently—especially estrogen, the key player in keeping you wet. While you can still have a satisfying sex life without producing natural lubrication, identifying the root cause of your vaginal dryness could lift the lid on your overall well-being.
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Who To Invite And Who To Leave Out. Organising a wedding is meant to be one of the most exciting (albeit expensive) times of your life. But it can also be stressful when some family and friends don’t see eye-to-eye, and long-standing feuds and individual personality clashes are likely to be exacerbated by hours of drinking and heightened emotions. We asked relationship experts how far wedding etiquette should go when it comes to dictating your guest list – a question that arguably feels somewhat more urgent when you’re paying for everyone’s dinner.
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Evolutionary psychologists have posited that we might experience sexual clashes with people whose genetic complexes are discordant to our own, because it affects the ability of us and our potential offspring to fight disease.But often, incompatibility comes down to a contrast in sexual tastes and appetites – most notably, a mismatch in libidos. Data from Natsal, the British National Surveys of Sexual Attitudes and Lifestyles (one of the broadest and most detailed scientific studies of its kind worldwide) indicates one in four UK couples are imbalanced in their desire for sex.
Scarlet Lad
Long-distance relationships are a little bit easier to navigate now a days with the blessing of high-speed internet and mobile phones. There is no need to be throwing away money on expensive calls or waiting weeks for a letter. With this in mind-long-distance relationship quality does not have to be significantly different from ones close by.
However, in reality, relationships take work, and with the strain of long-distance, that stress can be amplified. The inability to have date nights, days out or physical touch can be incredibly hard. In this article I have some tips on how you can maintain the spark even from a distance.
